Survivor’s Guilt: Causes, Symptoms, and Treatments

Experiencing guilt after surviving a traumatic event, particularly when others did not, is more common than you might think. Whether it's a tragic accident, war, or natural disaster, those who survive often struggle with powerful feelings of guilt. This sensation, known as survivor’s guilt, can weigh heavily on a person’s mind and affect their emotional well-being. If you’re reading this, you may be trying to understand these feelings or help someone else through them. In this post, we’ll explore what survivor’s guilt is, its causes, symptoms, and how to seek treatment to move forward.

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Survivor’s guilt is the emotional distress experienced by those who have survived a traumatic event when others have not. Often, it’s characterised by feelings of self-blame, regret, and the constant question, “Why did I survive?” The definition of survivor's guilt can also extend to those who feel guilty for escaping a tragedy unharmed when others suffered.

In psychological terms, survivor's guilt is a type of emotional response to trauma. It arises when a person feels responsible or regretful for having lived through an event where others may have been harmed or killed. It’s important to understand that this guilt, although intense, is irrational. Survivors often feel they could have done something differently to change the outcome, even when the event was completely beyond their control.

When someone close passes away, it’s natural to feel grief. However, survivor’s guilt occurs when the person feels responsible for that death, even when they had no part in causing it. This misplaced sense of guilt can occur after accidents, illness, or natural causes.

The symptoms of survivor’s guilt can vary from mild emotional discomfort to severe distress that affects daily functioning. You might recognise some of these in yourself or others:

Understanding the causes of survivor’s guilt can help make sense of why people experience it. It often stems from the deeply ingrained human instinct to protect others, combined with the unexpected nature of traumatic events.

A key cause of survivor’s guilt is the belief that you had some control over the outcome of the traumatic event. For example, in situations where someone dies, a survivor might think, "If only I had done this differently, they would still be alive." This line of thinking creates an emotional burden of perceived responsibility, even when rationally, the person understands they had no control.

Survivor’s guilt is also tied to moral values, which leads to the idea of moral injury. This occurs when a survivor feels they have violated their ethical beliefs by living when others didn’t, especially in the case of military combat or natural disasters.

People often confuse survivor’s guilt with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), as both involve responses to trauma. However, there are important distinctions between the two.

It’s possible for someone with survivor’s guilt to also develop PTSD, but they are not the same. Survivor’s guilt focuses on the emotional aftermath, while PTSD involves re-experiencing the trauma itself.

Survivor’s guilt doesn’t just affect the individual—it can also have a significant impact on relationships. Loved ones may struggle to understand the depth of the survivor’s emotions, leading to frustration or miscommunication.

A person with survivor’s guilt may withdraw from family and friends, feeling as though they don’t deserve happiness or support. They might also struggle with intimacy or being emotionally available, as their feelings of guilt overshadow their relationships.

Understanding how survivor's guilt affects relationships can be the first step towards healing. It’s important to communicate openly with loved ones and seek support rather than trying to cope with these feelings alone.

Survivor’s guilt is often called irrational because it stems from a misunderstanding of responsibility. Traumatic events are usually outside of your control, yet survivors frequently feel that they should have been able to prevent them. The moral logic of survivor’s guilt makes sense emotionally, but not rationally. It’s the mind’s way of trying to find meaning or explanation in something senseless.

If you’re wondering how to get rid of survivor’s guilt, the first step is acknowledging that the feelings are real, but not justified. Healing from survivor’s guilt often requires time, patience, and support.

The best therapy for survivor’s guilt depends with each person, but a combination of emotional support and professional guidance is often key to recovery.

Survivor’s guilt can lessen over time, but it doesn’t always disappear entirely. However, with the right support and treatment, many people find that they are able to manage their guilt and live fulfilling lives. The process of healing may include forgiving yourself, accepting that the event was beyond your control, and allowing yourself to move forward.

At Centre of Excellence, we offer a PTSD Awareness Diploma Course designed to help you gain a deeper understanding of trauma and its effects, including survivor’s guilt. For a limited time, you can access this course for the discounted price of £29!